The Curl Confession: How I Finally Made Peace with My Hair

This one’s for my curly girls...

Isn’t it funny how we always want what we don’t have? Straight-haired folks dream of bouncy curls, while those of us with natural curls spend years (and a fortune) trying to smooth them out. I spent most of my life fighting my curly hair—flattening it, taming it, hiding it. But after sixty years, I’ve finally made peace with my ringlets, and I’ve learned how to manage them.

If you're on your own curly hair journey, here’s what I’ve discovered: embracing your curls takes patience, the right tools, a little product knowledge, and a good dose of self-love.

Understanding Your Curl Type

Identifying your curl pattern is a great first step to understanding what your hair needs. I fall somewhere between 2C, 3A, and 3B—looser waves up top with tighter curls toward the nape of my neck.

The Andre Walker Hair Typing System is a helpful guide for figuring this out:

Type 2: Wavy

2A: Fine, barely-there waves

2B: S-shaped waves that start mid-shaft

2C: Defined waves from root to tip, frizz-prone

Type 3: Curly

3A: Loose, shiny spirals

3B: Tighter ringlets with volume

3C: Dense corkscrew curls

Type 4: Coily

4A: Defined coils

4B: Z-shaped pattern

4C: Tightest coils, prone to shrinkage

Tip: Wash and air dry your hair with minimal manipulation to observe your natural pattern. You can also scrunch damp hair with a curl cream—if it springs up, you’ve got curls!

My Favorite Curl-Friendly Products

Below I have shared some products and tools that work well with my 2C, 3A, and 3B curls. Everyone’s ringlets and texture varies so I hope some of these work for you. Click on the links to find out how you can purchase these items.

Shampoo & Conditioner

• Love Ur Curls Set – $39.99 Moisturizing and gentle, perfect for everyday use. Also available separately.

• L’Oréal Ever Pure Set – $19.98 Sulfate-free and curl-supporting! Available in single containers.

  

  

  
  

Leave-In & Styling Creams

Whether you use creams or gels is a personal preference. I like creams because the products tend to leave my hair soft as opposed the more stiff, crunchy feel of many gels. Everyone's curly hair is different so you need to consider the curl pattern and texture to determine the right products for you. It's fun to experiement and find out what works best. Here are some of my favorite leave-in products.

• L’Oréal Leave-In Cream – $12.95 Lightweight and budget-friendly. It's also a great travel size.

• Kerastase Curl Manifesto Crème De Jour – $48 A luxurious option for softness and definition.

• Love Ur Curls All-in-One Styler – $24 This works great following the LUS shampoo and conditioner. The cream is a little heavy but very effective.

• It’s a 10 Miracle Leave-In + Keratin – $45 Repairs and smooths damaged strands. Doesn't really offer a lot in terms of styling curls but it does smooth the hair strands.

• K18 Leave-In Molecular Hair Mask – $75 This powerful leave-in treatment repairs hair from the inside out in just 4 minutes. It works on a molecular level to reverse damage caused by heat, coloring, and daily wear—restoring strength, softness, smoothness, and bounce for noticeably healthier hair. Follow directions closely.

  

  
  

Refreshers & Frizz Fighters

Sometimes, refreshing curls doesn't require a full hair wash. The products listed below are excellent for reviving your ringlets!

• Kerastase Refresh Spray – $48 Perfect for reviving next-day curls.

• amika Power Hour Refreshing Spray – $28 Lightweight solution to refreshing curls.

• amika Frizz Me Not Anti-Frizz Treatment – $30 Works beautifully as a follow-up to their refreshing spray, especially in humid climates.

  

  
  

Best Oils for Taming Frizz and Defining Curls

If you have curly hair, you know the constant battle with frizz—especially in humid climates. The good news? The right oils can help smooth, hydrate, and define your curls without weighing them down.

Lightweight Oils for Soft, Frizz-Free Curls

If your curls are fine to medium in texture, lightweight oils are your best bet:

• Argan Oil: Packed with antioxidants, it helps tame frizz and add shine.

• Jojoba Oil: Closely mimics your scalp’s natural oils, making it great for hydration without buildup.

• Grapeseed Oil: A fast-absorbing option that seals in moisture and smooths flyaways.

• Sunflower Oil: Lightweight and rich in essential fatty acids—it hydrates and boosts elasticity.

  
  

Nourishing Oils for Dry or Coarse Curls

If your hair tends to be dry, coarse, or high-porosity, consider richer oils:

• Almond Oil: High in vitamin E and fatty acids, it helps soften and smooth while adding manageability.

• Coconut Oil: Deeply moisturizing and great for sealing in hydration—best used sparingly to avoid buildup.

• Castor Oil: Thick and nutrient-rich, it adds shine and reduces breakage, especially on thick or textured curls.

  
  

How to Apply

Less is more when it comes to oils—start with a few drops:

• Warm the oil between your palms.

• Gently run your fingers through damp or dry curls, focusing on the mid-lengths and ends.

• For extra definition, try scrunching the oil into your curls or using it to smooth flyaways.

  
  

The Right Cut and Style

Choosing the right style for curly hair is all about working with your natural texture—not against it. The best cut will complement your curl pattern, face shape, and lifestyle. Layers can add shape and bounce, while avoiding bulk at the ends (hello, triangle hair!). Whether you prefer long curls for versatility or a chic short cut for easier maintenance, the key is to find a stylist who understands curly hair. Don’t be afraid to experiment—curls are beautifully unique, and the right style can enhance those gorgeous locks at any age!

Tips & Tools That Made a Difference

• Apply products to wet hair. Towel drying too much = frizz.

• Don’t comb after drying. For best results, use a wet brush or wide-tooth comb on damp hair to gently detangle and evenly distribute your styling products. Once the hair is dry, don't comb through it or it will disrupt the curl pattern and cause frizziness.

• Create spirals using your fingers before air drying. Finger-coiling small sections of wet hair helps define the pattern. You can air dry or use a diffuser to speed up the drying process.

• Sleep in a bonnet or on a silk pillowcase. It helps preserve curls overnight.

• "Curly Girl: The Handbook" by Lorraine Massey is considered the foundational text for the curly girl method. It outlines the principles, techniques, and product recommendations for caring for curly and wavy hair. You can find this book online at retailers like Amazon. You can also find recommended Curly Girl approved products here.

• Curler Claw Clips – $17 Great for giving lift at the crown.

• AuBonacci Styling Tool – $42.99 Works with your diffuser for volume and gives lift at the crown to help reduce triangle hair!

• Diffuser Attachment A good diffuser distributes air to maintain curl definition while reducing frizz. In addition, it helps speed up drying time. Sadly, my favorite model is no longer available, but many great ones are on the market! Just make sure it fits on your blow dryer.

Final Thoughts and The Silver Lining

There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to curls. What works for me might not work for you—but embracing your natural texture can be liberating. Whether you love your curls loose and beachy or tightly coiled and voluminous, the key is understanding your hair and treating it with care.

It took me many years to embrace my curls. Now, I wouldn't trade them for anything and appreciate having the choice to wear my hair curly (which I do most of the time) or style it smooth.

Experiment to see which products work best for your hair type, and remember—healthy, hydrated curls are happy curls!

What’s your curl type, and what are your favorite go-to products? Let me know in the comments!